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evelyn

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[06 Mar 2008|06:02pm]
so i'm sitting on my couch looking around my apartment thinking "guh, i need to clean this filth-hole before going away for the weekend. wtf, future? why don't i have a robot that cleans yet?" and then i remembered: oh yeah, i do.

damn you, future, for being repeatedly disappointing. my cleaning robot is mesmerizing to watch, and a trusty floor-sweeping mechanism, but what are you going to do about the fact that I AM LAZY? HUH? what are you going to do about the fact that i am too lazy to pick the shit up off the floor and then my roomba runs into it and tries to eat it and then has to stop, because he is a robot and does not know he cannot eat the shirt i wore last thursday. he does not know that if he tries to eat the shirt i wore last thursday that he will not be able to perform is robot duties. so, future, when are you going to get me a robot that will help my other robot be able to do his job? the shirt-picking-up robot? and how about the dish-washing robot? i guess that one does already exist, but LANDLORD, when will you catch up with the future and give me my dishwasher?

GET ON IT!
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[01 Mar 2008|01:40pm]
the universe is balancing itself out after its colossal blunder on tuesday. when jackson and i left for lula at noon today i thought about how goddamn hungry i was and how i was sure we'd be waiting for a table for 45 minutes, and the mass of people standing outside the restaurant didn't make things look any better. but then when we got there, we got a table right away (!!!) and then when we sat down, the waiter who always wears the bulls championship t-shirt came over with 2 bloody marys and was like "hey guys, want a couple of bloody marys?" and we were all "uuuhhh, that sounds awesome, but we don't eat anchovies." so he walked away, and we felt bad that we'd turned away free booze from that nice guy. 5 minutes later he comes back and says "i checked our worcestershire sauce, and it doesn't have anchovies in it." he checked the worcestershire sauce! also, the bloody marys were still hanging around! so we got free vegetarian booze. people are NICE. also, our breakfast burritos were DELICIOUS.

also, i have monday off because it is casimir pulaski day, which is the best day of the year, because i don't have to go to work and everyone else does. also, i get to go meet with paul sally, who has promised to help me figure out my math endorsement and hopefully help me get a sweet-ass math job next year. also, he will be paul sally.

thanks, universe!
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booooooo [26 Feb 2008|05:50pm]
what's up with today?

i had a RIDICULOUSLY shitty day, wherein i screamed a lot and almost cried at work. the other girl who teaches 4th grade assured me her kids were equally jerk-faced.

jackson stayed home sick (which actually sounds kind of awesome, but you know, sick)

and here are the gchat status messages of my friends:
"alright world. you win. i give up."
"a dog just peed under my desk"*
"*tears hair out"

what's up, people? why is today so shit-tastic?

*ok, so she works at a pet magazine, but who wants dog pee under their desk?
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[12 Feb 2008|07:36pm]
things i have accomplished since returning from school yesterday afternoon:

-organized and cleaned out my file cabinet
-organized and cleaned out my closet/dresser
-organized and cleaned out my make-up and jewelry
-updated my teaching resume
-e-mailed the updated teaching resume to marv
-revised my teaching resume after marv gave me feedback
-wrote a museum resume
-organized and cleaned out my desk (i haven't done this in, like, 3 years. i've just moved my whole desk, contents included, every time i moved)
-cleaned up after all of this mad organization

thanks abraham lincoln and the state of illinois for giving me a day off in your honor.

this is the most work i've gotten done around the house in one day probably ever. i fucking RULE.

end bragging.
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[28 Jan 2008|07:36pm]
please just make it summer. make it the time when i can walk outside in a t-shirt and wander to the store and see the sun after 5 pm. and oh yeah, make it the time when i don't have to work. when i can stay out until 1 and sleep in the next morning and i don't have to listen to kids make up fucking ridiculous, unbelievable lies all day and call each other peanut head and kick their desks because i wouldn't let them walk down to the library for no goddamn reason. make it so i don't have to look at 10-year-old eye rolls and hear 10-year-old tongue clicks, so i don't feel like punching things all day.

you know it's bad when i'm happy i bashed my face in because it meant a day off of work.
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[22 Jan 2008|09:51am]
it was all pretty and snowing when i walked home from gold star last night, but guess what? snow is a light, beautiful death trap. i slipped on it and landed right on my chin. i spat out a piece of tooth and started bleeding all the way down the front of my coat. luckily, the evil, evil snow also makes a good ice pack.

the emergency room was pleasantly empty and the employees pleasantly friendly. i emerged with 5 stitches, but not really my dignity. i will soon have a scar right next to the scar from the only other time i needed stitches, when i busted my chin open when i was 10. my chin: one gigantic scar.

at least i get another day off work.
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[21 Jan 2008|02:58pm]
jackson and i walked home while we waited to move up the wait list at lula for brunch this weekend. when we came back i sneaked a glimpse at the hostess's list to see how much longer we'd have to wait. on the list the hostess had scribbled some identifying characteristics for every customer, like "hat, glasses," or "red coat."

when i found me it said "arms."
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a list of complaints [13 Nov 2007|06:37am]
-i couldn't get to sleep last night
-one of the cats was doing the thing where she can tell that it's 5:30 in the morning and she knows i get up in half an hour, so she whacks me in the head non-stop, or at least until i flail my arms and yell and she runs away, only to come back again and bug me more. over and over again. for half an hour.
-i couldn't get the radio in the bathroom to work.
-no matter how high i turn up my water heater, i cannot get enough hot water to last me through a decent 10-minute shower.
-all my favorite clothes are dirty and wrinkled, and i couldn't find them anyway because my room is a mess
-i have 2 meetings at work today, both before school and during my one break during the school day, so i have no time to get ready for any of the lessons today.
-i can't skip out right after school today, or i can, but i can't go home, because i'm meeting some kid from my teaching program who needs to interview me for a project.

the more i complain the more tempted i am to just call off work. oh god. how great would that be?

wow. uh. maybe i will.

i am CRANKYPANTS.
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[24 Oct 2007|10:55pm]
i have a name that, to the best of my knowledge, is unique. every other time i've googled myself i've only found me. my first name is an old lady name that no one has anymore, and my last name is vaguely made up.

tonight i googled myself and porn came up.

that's

NOT

COOL

PEOPLE.

it's just... um... not... cool. seriously. make it stop.






i hope my parents don't google me. i didn't do it, dad. seriously. not even kidding. ew. oh god. ew.
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[24 Oct 2007|05:29pm]
the only thing better than doing something that you hate at work is getting in trouble for doing the thing you hate. i got very kindly bitched at for yelling too much at my kids. my principal was nice enough to sandwich it with praise, which every good teacher learned to do, and to sound understanding about it, but nothing actually masks the sting of getting a "talking to," especially when it's for something i don't want to do anyway. but seriously, you try not yelling when a 9-year-old rolls their eyes and sucks their teeth at you after calling another kid a bitch for the 3rd time that day. or when they answer the question "what should you have done instead?" with "she's shouldn't 'uv ______________ !" AGAIN.

non-sequiter: i have no idea what to be for halloween. jackson going as admiral ackbar and me going as a "trap" was nixed because 1) admiral ackbar costumes are hard/expensive and 2) how do you dress up as a trap? going as annie hall and alvy singer is probably only a possibility if i am willing to be alvy singer. is there a way i can dress up as petra from ender's game? i'm feeling nerdy. someone give me an idea by tomorrow.
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[16 Oct 2007|06:17pm]
today, during the read aloud of sahara special, i was teaching "making connections" as a comprehension strategy. when the teacher in the book told the character darrell to sit down he screamed "you just called me barrel!" i told the kids that i had a text-to-self connection, and that was that i often had students yell silly nonsense at me and so i knew exactly how ms. pointy, the teacher felt right there. she felt annoyed and frustrated.

then, for the rest of the day, i told the kids to stop acting like darrell. like when i looked straight at a kid who was talking and when i told him to stop, heard "i wasn't talkin'!" or when a kid came to me saying "__________ just said something bad about everyone in my family who died" and when i confronted said kid he said "no, i didn't! he hit me and said something about my grandma so i said somethin' to him!" and my head nearly exploded. no i didn't. he hit me, so i did. does him hitting you first mean you didn't actually do it? i don't understand.

i think i fucking hate my job.

someone find me a museum or a library to work in.
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[08 Oct 2007|10:22pm]
i look around at my existence and think about how i know i have my own apartment and my own bills and an actual career--not just a job but a career, at least if i want it to be--and i have my own pets and everything (but thank christ not my own children) and i think about how it's still not actually possible that i'm an adult. there's no fucking way this this is what being a grown up feels like.

i'm not complaining. actually, i guess it's kind of nice. but seriously, this is being an adult? feeling accomplished because today i went to the bank and then took a few bags of trash outside and a couple of boxes to the basement? and now i'm drinking wine in bed and reading a book about high school kids? this is adulthood?

actually, that's should probably read "fuckin' sweet! i can be an adult and still drink alcohol in bed while reading worthless literature! thanks, world. you're cooler than i thought."

i'm good, actually. what's up? i guess i'm back. we'll see. i may be technically an adult but as you can see i lack some of the essential qualities. consistency might be one of them.
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On Vox: QotD: That's Just Cruel [11 Jun 2007|09:57pm]
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What's the weirdest baby name you've ever heard (or considered)?

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On Vox: "I may be only twelve, but I've read more books than you can count." [27 Mar 2007|06:28pm]
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proof that nothing on the internet ever, ever dies:i wrote this TWELVE years ago!also, i was either a remarkably articulate 12-year-old or i am a remarkably dim-witted 24-year-old because that post seriously sounds like it could have been written by...

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On Vox: Vox Hunt: Happy St. Patrick's Day! [17 Mar 2007|07:25pm]
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St. Patrick's Day: Show us if you wore green or got a pinch.

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On Vox: i resolve to not be super dumb [11 Jan 2007|10:40pm]

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last year's new year's resolution was to return library books and movie rentals on time. i did improve on that front, but i also currently owe the chicago public library $43.90 so i don't think i can officially declare success....


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On Vox: "i invited her" [17 Dec 2006|10:19pm]

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i often get a really, really serious case of the "grass is greener" syndrome. it's so bad right now that i am jealous of all of the people that are complaining about finals right now. "I wish i had finals!...


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On Vox: another shamless plug [04 Dec 2006|11:48pm]

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it's the holiday season! a time for love and giving and charity! yes, i have plugged this before, and yes, this does basically just amount to me asking for money, but it's not for ME, so you'll humor me. one...


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[07 Aug 2006|09:13pm]
i've decided that next summer i'm going to asia. specifically, singapore, malaysia, and thailand, and maybe indonesia, too.

i am beyond excited (especially for something that's a year away and not-yet-planned).

any tips?
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[02 Aug 2006|07:38pm]
vox is livejournal without the 13-year-olds (yet) and with much prettier everything. i'm a nerd for fancy new self-publishing online apps.

ampersander.vox.com
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